What is the first thing you thought....

When you saw this ?

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It's not a sad or angry feeling. It's an empty feeling.

Subject: To Kaoru-san

I have a dream that I want to fulfill now but because I am afraid I haven't progressed at all and I find this self of mine deplorable and shameful. I am worried about on how can this cowardly self of mine leave her shell...Kaoru-san, an advice please!!!

Kaoru: I think it's good if you slowly start with things that you can do. It's okay if you take a detour because you have to do something!

I KNOOOOOW.

Now the question is

[Where to start ?]

But that's not a question anyone else but me (or yourself) can answer.

Where to start ?

Well I should start with a major kick to my butt.

That's where to start.

Especially now that life is getting....
Really boring.

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What a monstrous question.

We say that

When you think everyone has a problem

But you

More likely you are the one with a problem.

But when you think that

Everyone is really dumb

But you

And a few other exceptions

Does it apply to that too ?

(;;;          ._______________.)

Not in the way that

Maybe I'm the stupid one

Cause I KNOW that I am NOT stupid.

But more in the way that maybe I have a problem ?

Guh.

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I have another question.

Why does people not believe me when I say that I'm pretty shy IRL

And most likely I won't talk to them unless they come and see me ?

Seriously...

When I say this

They're just being like 

[But on your blog BLAHBLAHBLAH]

HEY YOU DUMBASS ! D8<

It's fucking waaaaaaaaaay easier to write

Than to actually speak to someone.

Specially if you're not a close friend of mine.

(This being said, I consider what common people call my close friends as friends

And what common people call friends are only people I know to me.)

Writing is somewhat anonymous.

You can say whatever you want

Even say fuck at every to fucking words you fucking say

And no one will ever look at you like this O_O

You really can say whatever you want...

If people end up ranting at you for what you said

You may just delete the comment and that'll do the trick

You can't do that in real life.

(Even though I prefer to bitch at haters than delete their comments LOL.)

And when you write

You may edit what you said

As much as you want.

Until you're pleased with it.

When you write

You can take the time to find the proper way to formulate something

While when you speak

It's more spontaneous.

Even though it could end in a pretty funny way

It could also end like....

Screwing some friendships up

Because of a misunderstanding due to the spontaneous side of it.

Also

Writing is silent.

It's less AGGRESSIVE TO READ THAT KIND OF THING

Than hearing someone screaming it.

(Have I said how much I hated noise ?)

Plus

When you write....

.....

..............

You don't stammer.

OH GOD I FUCKING HATE THAT.

This being said

I guess that I'm simply a typical geek...

I mean... 

• I'm shy, 
• I stammer, 
• I wear glasses, 
• I like computers, 
• I like video games, 
• I collect movies, old and new
• I like to do lists,
• I can't cook,
• I rather read than go clubbing,
• I like to look for where things are coming from,
• I hate grammar, syntax and spelling mistakes....

I just don't read comics/manga nor watch animes HA !

And I think it should be said once for all :

I. DON'T. LIKE. MANGAS/ANIMES.

Now please just stop looking at me as if I was an alien cause I said I don't know this or that anime or manga cause I just don't give a fuck about it.

Do you know Croix Allcine ? 

Well no cause you don't give a shit about knowing where they were before their actual band.

Or you just don't care about japanese music.

I don't like boys band either.

So no, I don't like K-pop.

Luckily,

My friends tend to respect that.

I hope everyone could do the same =____=

I mean... 

WHO CARES IF I DON'T KNOW VAMPIRE KNIGHT OR KUROSHITSUJI OR ANGEL SANCTUARY ?!?!?!?!??!

Anyway....

Whatever...

By the way

Croix Allcine is one of the, if not THE first band of BLOOD's Kiwamu.

Please, don't talk to me about GPKISM.

I don't give a damn about that.

And BLOOD is one of my favorite bands, so........

So yeah

If I go back to the main topic

I think that it's stupid to think that someone is the same

On Internet and in real life....

As stupid as to think that all J-rockers are gay

Or that Gackt never got surgery (I mean.... That's kinda obvious, y'know...)

Anyway,

Everyone has at least two personalities

I have one with my family

Which is close to the one I have with my friends and online

(Still, the one with my friends is slightly different from the online one.... Not that much, but still...)

And I have a last one with common people/people I don't know/at job....

If you think you do not have at least two personalities,

I'm sorry to tell you this, but

You are lying to yourself.

Just let things go as you feel they should go

Without restraining yourself from doing this or that for whatever reason it is.

Trust me,

You'll feel way better

And probably less stressed too... (´  . ` ;)

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It ain't so bad, in the end.

Not a long time ago

Like hum...

2 weeks ago, or so

I had 48 or 49% of first time visitors

Returning visits have improved !

Not bad, not bat at all !

Even though what I say isn't much interesting...

Besides my bitcheries.... HA !

I wanted to ask you

[What pushes you to come back here ?]

But I usually don't have any answer to these kind of questions.

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Trucy is testing energy drinks.

#1 RedBull : It tastes sooooooooo freaking bad ! OMG.  I mean... I'm not picky at all, but seriously, RedBull tastes like... Ew.  It works, but it taste so fucking BAD.  Maybe it's to much concentrated since the can is smaller than most other energy drinks....

#2 Monster : The taste could be better, but it's not as bad as RedBull.  And it works, I got like... almost hyper and felt like I could do anything XD Though, the first time, I felt "shaky" a bit


#3 RockStar : I feel sad about this one... The name is like... FUCK YEAH \m/ LOL  I tastes like.... Something close to cream soda, mixed with orange, strawberry and grape soda pop.... So not so bad but.... I had a down with it... I don't know what went wrong but I'll never drink any RockStar again D8.....


#4 FullThrottle : So far, I think that this one is the best... I had the same result as with Monster (without the "shaky" effect...), and it tastes better (Still it is that it tastes... chemical xD), though, I haven't tasted any other flavour than the citrus one...


So far this is it, which one do I still have to test ? XD
Anyway, this is only the effect that it had on me, it doesn't mean that it'll have the same effect on you.  Remember than those energy drink are really chemical and have a lot of "medical" ingredient, so take the "instructions" seriously.  Those are almost like legal drugs, you know ? So... yes, you may become addicted to those, I don't think you may die of any overdose with these (unless you're cardiac or have some of the sickness they mention on the cans...), but still...  Don't drink them as if it was juice XD;;;

The only thing is that none of these had effects for more than an hour... maybe two, if I'm really generous... So if it's like this for everyone who, as for an example, is working on something that is to hand out the next morning, they may be pushed to take more than one and then feel bad... Cause this is giving you some kind of high... And whatever goes up then goes down... So... Yeah. =\

Any comment on the thing ? What about your own experiments ?

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I've got a question, just like this...

There's some things like those that I wonder... Eheh x)

Do you guys think a girl or a boy would suit me the best ?

I'm really wondering ! Don't be afraid of answering, I won't get mad at anybody, I'm just curious of what you guys think !  And please, feel free to explain why (even if it's just that you feel like it xD !) ! =3

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I must say it once again.

I really don't get why I have so many... "fans" out there...
You really have to explain this to me.  Really.
I mean... I'm just some kind of reject, why you all like me this much ? XD
I have nothing to envy... I mean.. my wardrobe is pityful (seriously.), okay that I'm gifted with make-up and for my somewhat pretty face, but only my face is pretty ! I talk about uninteresting shits, I bitch and bitch and overbitch, I'm a goddamn fangirl (as you all are), I'm convinced I have the answer to everything, I'm selfish, stubborn, I won't ever really trust anybody, I hate everything that "everyone" just love, I quitted school, I'm poor, I'm kinda depressive, I have some kind of unstable personnality, I complain about ridiculous things constantly, I spam, I can turn you to ridiculous in for whatever you say to me, I attract nothing but nerds, Magic card players, RPlayers and beardy (dirty) metalers and lesbians in need of sex which they won't ever get, I'm a lost case concerning the fact that I'm being a total fag hag, I'm not punctual, I might hate you, the whole world pisses me off, I hate people, I'm immature, I talk about my periods as if I was asked what I ate for dinner, I have a bad memory, my home won't ever be really tidy, I'm obsessed with my hair (and with the fact I think humans are born with too much hairs), I've got some questionnable food taste, I can't really cook, I smoke, I get a shower only when my hair needs to be washed (once every two days, actually) and you like me this much anyway ?!
I don't get it.  I mean... Seriously... Explain to me.  Don't be shy, I'm the one supposed to be shy, here KTHXBAI.

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Ask it !

I usually answer pretty fast ! =3

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Concernant FaceBook / Concerning FaceBook

ENGLISH WILL FOLLOW.

Je pensais à ça et pis... Peut-être que je ferais mieux de garder celui avec mon vrai nom pour spammer pis envoyer plein de truc comme je le fait si bien et pis de prendre celui de Trucydae de façon un peu plus... disons professionnelle et pis faire découvrir de la musique aux gens, faire part de mes projets et tout ça, quoi =o.... Vous en dites quoi ?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I thought about it and.. Maybe I should keep the one with my real name for spaming stuff as only I know how to and to use the Trucydae one more.... Professionnally, let's say... and make people discover new music and talk about personnal projects and stuff like this.... What do you think about this ?

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While my potatoes are getting hot...

I had to tell you something !
It is a secret ! LOL Non pas vraiment, mais bon.
The thing is that, I thought about it, recently (yeah as usual) and I came to realize that I neve really though that Vidoll was really suiting me. DUN DUN DUUUUUUN.
They were good, it's true, I liked them very much, they were my favorite band ! And yes, Jui got that voice which used to make me go KJASHKJSHDKSHFKJHSD and stuff like this... But.... When I liked them THAT much, I wondered a few times if they were really suiting me... And now here's the answer : No.
The same goes for my fangirling over Jui.... I mean... look at him ! He's only some kind of (very) sexy bitch (or he used to...) and well.... He got me D8 !! And yeah, well, I still like him pretty much, but.... It's not the same kind of "relationship" that I have with Kaya or with Die.... I mean... It's like if (get prepared to LOL) I had three boys in front of me who are mad at me because I was cheating over all of them and that I admited that with the Jui one, it was purely sexual.... LOL.  I would have felt the same, really xD
I don't know how to descride it in an other way XD;....

So yeah.... the thing is that I don't really associate myself to Vidoll (the OLD Vidoll, okay ? è_é !!) as I do with Kaya or Dir en grey or Evanescence, let's say o_ô....
I don't know if you get what I mean xD;;;
I think it's related to that thing that makes Kasu goes "this kind of music is so *insert someone's name*" as she said that when she hears som 80's music, she thinks about me xD or same thing when I see Kengo, I think Orly...
What d'you think about this ?

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Heille...

Y'a tu quelqu'une qui sait quand est-ce que l'école recommence ? .___.

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Donnez-moi des idées de vieux nom de famille français...

J'aimerais vraiment avoir des proposition de nom avec un "de" dedans... Genreuuuh.....
J'pense juste à Milady de Winter... mais celle-là, elle est anglaise, fait que ça marche pas XD;;;
J'veux pas un truc trop cliché non plus, hein.... Mais je veux quand même quelque chose de réaliste, même si c'est un nom inventé...

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Trucy est dans une grosse phase de questionnement.

Quelle vérité sera la plus vraie ?

Vous savez que je passe beaucoup de temps à observer les gens... Ça fait en sorte que j'en passe pas assez à m'observer moi... Psychologiquement, j'veux dire.
Je crois me connaître, pourtant, je découvre de nouvelles facettes et celles-ci s'obstine avec les anciennes.
Et si vous m'aidiez ? Pourriez-vous dire ce que vous avez observé chez moi ? Méchant ou gentil, je m'en fiche... Je veux savoir quelle image je donne parce que sérieux, là.......... j'tannée que ça s'obstine, dans ma tête. N'ayez, je vous prie, aucune retenue~ Dites tout ce qui vous passe par la tête, peu importe le sujet... LE PUBLIC A LE DROIT DE SAVOIR !

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FGNAAAAAH.

C'est avec ce cri retardé que je vous dis que je commence à me demander pourquoi j'ai voulu faire de Kaya le méchant de l'histoire x_X...

Bon...
Là c'est clair que #1 pi #2 c'est respectivement Kaya pis Ochi ô_ô (J'vais ben être une des premières à écrire une fic avec les CGD XDDDDDDDDDDDD)
Mais #3 m'fais chier è_é :

→J'veux pas que ça soit Juka >_>.... Nay. Ni Kamijo.

→Ça pourrait être Yu~ki mais ça serait...... Non... Quoi que peut-être... Mais... non, dans ma tête ça fait pas sérieux....

→Fouille-moi pourquoi j'ai pensé à Seiji (criss que j'avais écrit Seile... pour écrire Seileen o_o; )... Mais r'garde... Non.

→J'avais pensé à K aussi... mais tsé que j'me suis mis dans la tête que vu que Kaya était méchant, ben y serait Seme........................... Pis j'arrive juste pas à m'imaginer K en uke avec Kaya XDD Aussi fif soit-il dans son innerself~

→Ça va finir que #3, ça va être Yui, ostie o_o;;;;;;;;;

→Ç'aurait pu être Kalm LOL, mais... En même temps, si c'était Kalm, j'aurais plus vu Dada dans le rôle de Kaya, donc non XD

→Pis Hora, ben j'me trouve dans la même situation que pour K, pour tout vous dire @___@

→J'pourrais l'faire avec Jasmine, mais......... J'veux pas que ces deux-là deviennent un d'mes habitués .___. J'veux que ça reste un "spécial" once in a while, tsé XD

→Check ben ça si j'criss pas Ricky dans l'tas XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD (NON.)

→J'dois avouer avoir pensé à Jui aussi.... Pis quoi que j'aime vraiment c'te couple-là, j'veux pas le faire dans c't'histoire-là parce que 1. ces deux-là ensemble me rappellera TOUJOURS Black & White pis Remains of mind ô_ô..... 2. Non, ça fite juste pas dans c'cadre-là

→J'ai donc aussi pensé à Die parce que tsé LOLZ.... Mais non. J'ai fait une fic insinuant un DieXKaya pis c'est assez d'même XD; (ouf...)

→Pis là j'essaie de penser avec qui les autres mettend Kaya, souvent... pis là ça a fait MANÂ... pis j'ai fait DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD8... NO WAY.

→...... Sizna, man.... Ostie, pourquoi j,connais pas plus Sugar que ça ? D8... Aaaaah criss... C'est trop Sizna qui faut que j'mette là-dedans o_o............... Marde, faut que j'me mette à étudier Sugar o____o........


Bon donc.... Yui ou Sizna x_x....
Y'en a pas un avec lequel j'ai déjà écrit, donc y'en a pas un que j,sais vraiment de quoi son personnage aura l'air.... Toutefois, j'me sentirais plus à l'aise d'écrire avec Yui, pour some reason... o_ô... J'le connais pas plus que Sizna, mais j'sais pas.... Tsé Sizna fait partie du groupe alors que Yui c'est juste un danseur........ [C'est pas une excuse, Trucy !] Je l'Sais, mais j'me sentirais vraiment plus à l'aise d'écrire avec Yui .____.
Mais j'trouve vraiment que Sizna Darling fiterait mieux D8........ GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

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Man....

Ostie que c'est pas intéressant c'que j'dis o_o;
Comment vous faites pour suivre mon blog, bâtard ? XD

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C'est qui ça ? o_ô...

C'Était la photo d'un quizz sur FaceBook, mais en même temps, j'trouve que ça fait Jrocker-style comme photo o_ô

Sinon ben... *stares at thos scars on his/her arm* hum...

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Poliwag.

Le bidule rose dans sa figure, vous le voyez comme une bouche ou un nez ?
Moi j'ai toujours vu une bouche, mais Kasu, elle, c'est plutôt un nez...

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I've got a question, dears.

Does taking sleepin pills prevents from dreaming ? I need the info for a upcoming chapter of a new fic (That I wrote in french, sorry guys.)
But the thing is that, on the web, some say that yes, it does prevent from dreaming, some others say that it doesn't... And none of them have any references...
Wikipedia does... but there's not much in there...
So far, what I think is the good answer is that taking some kind of sleeping pills makes your REM sleep phase shorter... And the REM phase is when it's said people are suppose to dream. So if sleeping pills are only making it shorter, the phase is still there so people may dream anyway... Less than people who don't take those, but they still do.
I'm not quite sure this is THE ULTIMATE answer so I was just asking to make sure so I don't write anything impossible in my fic...

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