So I guess I'm done being emo for tonight

Or at least I try.

Anyway, 

I just watched Memento.

I watched that for the first and last time many years ago

I remember I was with my mother

At her house

When we watched it

It was on a VHS HA !

But yeah, that was around 2003-05

I don't quite remember

And I didn't quite remembered the story itself

And that's kinda funny cause

The movie itself it about a guy

Who has no short term memory

So he forgets everything

But he's looking for his wife rapist and killer

Using pictures, notes and tattoos to remember...

Or to think he remembers

Cause he actually doesn't

The movie is quite fucked up

In the way that the story is like on the reverse side

Starting at the end of the story

Ending at its beginning

But as the movie goes

You realize that what he does

Isn't what it was supposed to be

That people have been using him

And that himself used him

And his memory problem....

I think that many people probably didn't liked the movie

Because of this....

Because of how it has been made

And because it may be quite confusing

That's also the kind of things that

Makes people think that the Saw series is nothing more than gore movies

But it's not.

You just have to pay attention

To the movie

Its story

Its characters

Its details

And with every pieces

Put it in the right order in the timeline

So that it finally makes sense.

Or it is that I have a pretty analytic mind

And that I like to solve that kind of puzzles

So I like movies that makes your brain works more 

Than simply for entertainment.

I liked Se7en for that very same reason.

The Others had a little bit of it.

And that could also be why I like Dan Browns book...

I like when,

At the end of a movie

Or even a book

You feel all exited

Because things were what they seemed at the beginning

When things weren't as simple as they seemed...

And that you're being amazed by 

How they've been able to do so 

That you held your breath all way long

Just to discover that it wasn't what they made you expect.

Maybe that's just cause 

That's how real life is too...

These are also

Probably the reasons why

I feel crazy to the point of,

Once all movies have been released in DVD,

To put the whole Saw series in the right chronological order.

I think it's also because

I want people to understand the story

As I understood it

Or maybe make it more understandable

For those who haven't the patience

Or the analytic mind to do it on their own...

Maybe I just like a bit to much to make my brain work...

But at least

This way

I feel like it's being somewhat useful...

Since I'm too lazy to become a scientist...

Or a detective

Or a psychiatrist

Or whatever else it is...

Maybe the perfect job for me

Would be to become a writer...

This way

I can become whatever I want...

Transposing myself into my characters...

(Considering this, I'm quite a killer, now... LOL)

I really should kick my ass very really pretty hard

So that I could finish that story I just finally started today...

Would be my very first real novel ever.........

You know what ?

Right now

I just feel like crying, but

It's not sadness...

I think I just..... found a point to my life.